


childish

by terminallyCapricious (murderousCohort)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drabble, Freeform, characters mostly just mentioned, except roxy she's the main character, might expand it, so far this is a oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 15:22:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3330722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murderousCohort/pseuds/terminallyCapricious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>roxy has never liked being childish. sure, she has been sometimes- childish, that is. but she's always hated it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	childish

It is childish, Roxy decides, the pink she's typed in since only forever. Childish, like the cat that is printed on most if not all of her shirts. Childish, like her drunken words. 

Sometimes Roxy wants to escape herself. She wants nothing more than to be free of the expectations that are set for her- her awful (not that bad, just annoying) mother and her well-meaning (but overbearing) friends.

Part of her decision (that the persona she's carefully built up is useless) can be blamed on Jane (not Janey anymore, that's what the old Roxy called her.) See, it was Jane (Roxy's best friend) who told her, Roxy, you're being a child. Roxy, I like you better when you're not drunk. 

The worst part, Roxy decides, is that Jane was right. She is childish. As for the not being constantly drunk thing...well, she's working on that. 

And so Roxy has decided that no longer will she be Roxy. She'll stop wearing her pink shirts, and her cat shirts, and- oh god, those awful skirts. 

She's abandoning that, because it's too hard to keep up the hard shell of candy (oh, that's a laugh.) 

(On her worst days, Roxy wonders if she made a mistake, downloading the game.) 

(She knows she did.) 

Dirk and Jake date for a while. Then it waxes into something a little more just comfort buddies and less loving. (That's okay. She doesn't need a man.) 

(Even if she still likes Dirk and it still hurts to talk to him.) 

Roxy gets more and more distant. She rarely talks to Jane or Dirk anymore. And Jake leaves her alone. That's alright too. (She tells herself.) 

Roxy starts dressing in the ballgowns her mother got for 'birthday dresses'. They're over the top, but that's okay. They're less childish, more cool and... Not professional. Just (not right) what she wants. 

She doesn't feel herself anymore. Her identity is being scraped away. 

This is what she wants, she convinces herself. 

It's not.

It's not. 

... It's not.


End file.
